St. Valentin


             Today is the day before Valentine’s Day and I have mixed feelings about this capitalistic holiday that originated in Rome for a Christian martyr–St. Valentine. The Valentine’s Day industry is at an all-time high. $17.3 billion revenue, $134 per person average. 

Everyone deserves love. Everyone deserves recognition, appreciation, and the whole nine yards. This day is set for lovers when a relationship SHOULD consist of continuous effort and highlighting each other’s traits. Thanks to the tv sitcom, “Parks and Recreation”, I have recently adopted “Gal-entines Day” 

But let’s just go crazy here. Let’s love ALL the people who bring us endless positivity and growth. If you’re out there feeling lonely because you don’t have a significant otter, there’s somebody who values you so much more than a half-assed, immature kind of companion. (Which seems to be the trend nowadays.)

We’re all different. We all have personal needs and desires. We look for various characteristics and traits based on what we value. 

But the fear of love saddens me. The negative connotation has stapled itself to a feeling, a notion, that should be so incredibly unique and priceless. 

I never understood love until I took into consideration the way my mother sacrificed her belongings and her life to pursue a new country in hopes of fabricating a prosperous future for herself and her children. Love is part self-sacrifice as Achilles and Alcestis taught us in Greek philosophy. My mother infinitely bit her lip and sacrificed her emotions. My mother bred me for eighteen years only to see her last baby bird fly away from the nest and she knew she did not have it in her to clip my wings. I understood love a little bit more, as I came to the realization I was the sole purpose for my brother staying out of trouble, completing high school and receiving his diploma, showing me que si se puede. My brother took the unpaid role of the “man in the house” in order to teach me responsibility. 

I understood love even more when I registered my sister gravely struggling through university, but she put on a damn brave face and resisted her voice from cracking when she called home. My sister taught me how to chase my dreams. 

These are all examples of the purest of loves.

The purest of loves will take place without you knowing it. One day, you’ll look in hindsight and think “This was/is their way of showing me how much they care for me.” 

The purest of loves will take you places unimaginable in your wildest dreams. 

You’ll learn more about yourself, you’ll develop, you’ll laugh, you’ll be hurt because of them. You’ll only be hurt because they have a gravitational pull on your heart. We are imperfect as human beings, but there’s perfection in that too. There is undefined and relentless beauty in being broken. As damaged as you may think you are, I promise someone will trace your rough edges with their fingertips. This being said, there are some things you should not do and put up with: (I am learning myself!)

  • If someone is angry at you for flinching at their touch, leave them. They have yet to understand the depths of your mind and your scars. 
  • If someone challenges you every time you say you need space or a break, leave them. Do not suffocate yourself. 
  • Do not set yourself on fire hoping they would pick up the ashes. 
  • Don’t stop searching. Don’t settle. Until you find someone who looks at you in the light as your best friend. 

To conclude, yes.

Being sent flowers through a delivery service will warm anyone’s heart, or being thought of enough by a person for them to purposely go out and purchase a box of chocolates is not to be underrated or poked at!! 

Just also remember, the best kind of love you can receive is self-love. If you don’t have a lover, you have yourself. YOU love yourself so purely and unconditionally that when someone comes along, they’ll have no choice but to love you as much as you love yourself. If it’s anything less, move on. 

sta.

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